Wednesday, November 11, 2009

I AM CONCERNED.

... I think I have officially gone insane.  


Not, "oh man I want to leave this place" insane, or "i need a day off" insane.  No, I mean like "I am talking to myself" insane.  Like, "How do people get like this, don't they have families?" kind of insane.  (that last one may have scratched the surface of over-exaggeration, but you're used to that by now, right?)

I have started to make telling the story of my life to myself as it happens a nearly CONSTANT behavior.  Really. I can hardly think like a normal person anymore (i guess i never really did, but stick with me here).  Need an example of this disconcerting behavior to understand what I mean? Here ya go:

{actual situation} a homeless person turns around to me with a handful of money and tries to hand it to me frantically, saying "Free money!"

{what a normal thought process may have been} "Woah that was weird. What if I would have taken the money? Would he have let me actually take it? How cool would that be?How strange [soft chuckle to self]." End Scene.

{the exact words that went through my mind during said occasion} "As I was walking down one of the darkest streets in Manhattan, heading toward my oh-so-classy women's gym, a homeless, shady man whipped around to me and literally shoved a handful of money into my face, begging me to take it. He was saying, 'Free money! Free money!' At that moment there was not a question in my mind as to whether I should take it.  Obviously not— I mean, how much sketchier can you get?  But as I walked away my mind reeled with possibilities of what could have been the consequences of reaching out and accepting the offer."

As I am walking down the street I narrate my life as if I am writing some fascinating story that only I get to enjoy.  I'm not kidding! haha I know it's funny, but that doesn't make it a joke!  It's my LIFE, people!  Should I seek professional help? 

8 Comments {CLICK HERE TO COMMENT}:

Emma said...

ha! that's hilarious! i think it's okay as long as you're not talking in third person. that's when i think you could be termed "clinically insane."

when i'm by myself i realize i am just singing bon iver or weepies or mason jennings. audibly. is that weirder? probs not.

Lauren Kay said...

"As Carly walked down the streets of Manhattan she was accosted by a homeless, shady man shoving money into her face. Carly was clearly confused at the situation as she evaluated the possible outcomes of actually taking the cash..."

Like Emma said, THAT would be weird...

Laura Tait said...

Wow this is just great. I'm going to have to start doing this: not just talking to myself, but talking about myself!

Angie said...

Not weird. I do the same thing except I'm composing blog posts in my head out of the stuff I do. It's kind of sick. Am I really that obsessed with blogging?!

chrisandkarim07 said...

Carly! I don't know how I blogged-stalked to your blog, but I did. I have loved seeing what you've been up to. OH, and I especially loved your post about Tyra Banks. I hate her.

-Karim

ps. Carnate Advertising 4 Life

.kaitlyn.ray. said...

I've been doing that since the 6th grade. It's especially frequent when I'm home alone and the narration morphs into a new headline about some creeper breaking in and stealing me all elizabeth smart style.

Anyways, it's totally normal...

liz said...

"BUSY BLOGGER" - "BUSY BLOGGER" said as you vigorously shake your finger! haha. I still laugh every time I think about that (which is concerningly often). love you!

ashley toocooforschool wright said...

one time i got into the shower with my clothes on. pretty normal day for me though.