Saturday, February 20, 2010


Last night I went to Magnolia Bakery with Kaite Brown/Ray, and although I did expect some pretty hearty girl talk, I did NOT expect to be still sitting there, knee-deep in conversation, four hours later! Anyone who knows me knows that it takes me about 1.5 seconds to polish off basically any dessert, so heaven knows it wasn't the banana pudding that kept me. Our conversation made me think about a few things in a way I never had before, and I wanted to share something that she brought up. She mentioned this blog post she had read and I thought, I hope I remember that someday when I need it. Or maybe more appropriately, when my family needs me to remember it.  Thinking about being a mom/wife someday terrifies me, because it is scary how easy it would be to lose perspective and let my home become chaotic and peace-less, or let myself become difficult to please. It is disastrously easy to let the day-to-day frustrations get in the way, and I just wanted to re-post this woman's blog post in hopes that it will make this story more prominent in my mind, so that one day it will pop up in my memory at just the right time. It is from the blog All Things Heart and Home. Thanks Kaite, for the long chat, the few-bites-that-became-more-than-a-few-bites of your chocolate mocha cake, and for sharing this blog post with me!

Here it is:
The Trip To The Grocery Store That Changed My Life

Thirteen years ago on a cold January afternoon, a trip to the grocery store changed my life. The pressure of juggling the schedules of four teenagers was pressing in on my last nerve. Truth be told, something was always pressing on my last nerve. That day I still needed to grocery shop and do a mountain of laundry.

I left the kids at home and headed to the grocery store. Inside the store, I pushed the cart up and down the isles trying not to mow down the huge display of spam. I gasped and the gray haired man turned around.

Hello, neighbor” he grinned.

Standing there, in a dark blue suit, crisp white shirt and a shinny red tie my neighbor Robert, looked completely put together.

“And how are you this fine day Robin?” He sounded surprisingly chipper for a man who’d just six months before lost his wife of thirty years.

“I’m okay Robert, how are you doing?” My voice dripped with pity. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Thank you” he said looking down and stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. “ It was hard at the end. She put up a fight though.”

Suddenly, he looked right into my eyes. “It’ll probably sound terrible to you, but I’m kind of excited about starting over.”

Pregnant pause. What the heck do I say to that?

Well, that’s good.” I stumbled. “So is there anyone in particular?”

No, no, no. Not at all. I just know what I’m looking for this time. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but it would be someone exactly opposite of Sheila.”

Dear Father in heaven, could this GET any more awkward?

I mean, I loved her” he added quickly, “but she and I had a rocky thirty years. She was, I guess you’d say, a little difficult.”

He forced a laugh. “She’d say the same about me. Anyway, next time, I want less drama. More peace. And more laughing.”

Time stopped. My chest felt heavy. I couldn’t breathe. This was a God Thing…

We said our good byes. I felt so sad. For Sheila and Robert.

But I also felt sad for my husband, Mike and for me.

The lights in the store were too bright. I looked at my feet. The floor was too shiny.

That’s how Mike would feel if I died tomorrow…

It was true and I knew it.

Uptight. That was me. Life as a rule overwhelmed me. Some days I went from drama to drama.

Finally getting to my car, shivering, I put my head in my hands and wept. Slowly the heater started to warm the cold air around me as I heard a clear message from God’s heart to mine.

If I die before Mike, I don’t want him to look for someone opposite of me. Like Sheila, I needed, less drama. More laughter. More peace.

That very day I came home and wrote down what I wanted Mike to say about me when I was gone…this is it…

*She loved God

*She loved me and the kids

*We always knew she was praying for us

*She made our house a home. Peaceful and safe.

*She supported me and encouraged me constantly.

*She was my best friend.


I have come to believe that each one of us, whether we acknowledge it or not, are living every day, the legacy we will one day leave. That list, I made so long ago, has become my standard for living that legacy.

How do you want people to remember you?


Rustino Scar said...

buzz kill...

Abigail said...

i loved it. Thanks for sharing pretty lady